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May 26
I’m lucky if I wake up before noon.
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March 27
$0.12 dinner.
Walking into H-E-B in San Marcos (home of Texas State University) , I saw a guy that looked college-age. He was walking out of the store with ONE packet of Top Romen. He spent more in gas to get there then what he spent on his meal.
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March 22
Nature’s Car Wash
I didn’t want to spend the $12 at the local car wash, so I waited 4 months until it rained.
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March 21
Don’t Lowball Hygene
So I went to the store last week to buy deodorant, but I couldn’t afford anything fancy so I just grabbed the cheapest stick I saw. I ended up with the stuff that’s more water than anything else, and worse than that it has caused a ridiculously irritated rash under my arms. Now I know that deodorant is worth splurging on.
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March 14
His sign says “Saving up for iPad 2” as he sits in front of the apple store.
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March 5
That Dentist Feeling of Clean
I recently figured out that my power shower does a better job at cleaning between my teeth than my mum’s electric toothbrush. It feels like I’ve been to the dentist every time I smile at my shower head.
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March 1
Angel Hair Ramen
Cook ramen and don’t add the spice packet, then take some cheap spaghetti sauce and slice up one cooked mushroom and add it on top. If you have some Parmesan cheese packets from Fazoli’s sprinkle on top with some pepper packets from McDonald’s. Tell her it’s your grandmothers recipe from the old county using angel hair pasta. Tip: Hording bread sticks from Fazoli’s is also a good idea, they keep well frozen and can be reheated for “fresh” breadsticks. This technique doesn’t work well on college girls.
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February 26
One Liner
I tell people my license is suspended when I’m really too cheap to drive, and it’s another excuse to use the bus.
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February 24
School Buddy
I steal my housemates library card and get out books on it. Leaving him with the fine.
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Why I Don't Get Laid | slopness monster | Creepers Who Text
